Episode Transcript
[00:00:00] Speaker A: Hello and welcome back to the trauma formed slp. The song's gonna come in soon and the actual intro that you're used to is gonna start pretty soon here. But I wanted to go ahead and let you know this is a part two, technically of the last episode. I recorded this all at the same time. So I didn't really have a very good intro for this part. I just kind of went straight into it again. So I decided I should probably give.
[00:00:27] Speaker B: You guys a little bit of an.
[00:00:29] Speaker A: Update of what's going on in this particular.
But this is essentially the strategies that I like in terms of handling burnout, but also secondary traumatic stress and. Or even just primary traumatic stress. Honestly, the things that I feel are safe enough for everyone to try and to do. And I also start this out with a little bit of a rant of sort of the common way you hear about strategies and what I don't like about the common approaches taken. I mean, in a nutshell, that comes down to oftentimes those strategies are really great if you don't have some sort of dysregulation from chronic stress or from some sort of trauma response. But if you've got chronic stress and. Or a trauma response or a mental health thing that you're dealing with or like even if it's an undiagnosed mental health situation for you, like anxiety or depression, those really common strategies don't really impact that kind of stuff. The common stuff, the common list you see, it's really great stuff that can really help, but it doesn't really move the bar when we're dealing with really big like emotional upheavals and really big dysregulation from chronic stress. So that's sort of what I want to start out with. The nearing the end of this, it's. It's kind of a review of bottom up processing strategies. But I have another episode on that and I'll put it in the show notes. I can't quite recall what I named that one. I think it is just called bottom up processing possibly, but I will link that to you below. But essentially you're going to hear me start out with a little bit of my rant on the typical strategies of what you usually find. If you Google how to help with my burnout, that's I go kind of go on a little bit of a rant of the typical list of things you see. I'm going to go into detail on the one strategy we really all could use a lot more of, which is a about 10 minutes in to the episode. And then we get into some strategies for emotional processing that you don't often see that are the bottom up regulation type things. Then I go into a few other strategies that I think can have a pretty big impact at least on just your mental health and your, you know, perception of what's going on with you in your life. They seem like small things, but they can have a big impact. But they can also be kind of hard to implement, like finding a safe community. Like what does that even mean?
[00:02:53] Speaker C: Right.
[00:02:54] Speaker A: So we go that a little bit and then I do end it with a rough summary of kind of the.
[00:03:00] Speaker B: Whole burnout thing and give you a.
[00:03:02] Speaker A: Little snippet of, you know, or a little, a little review of what my next episode is planned essentially for that and the next series I have planned and you will also. I forgot about this. I do need to let you know I am recording these as videos now. So sometimes I might say, I think there's one place here where I talk about the stimming slash sensory regulation tool I'm using while I'm recording, which is this really soft plushie that I got in. I got it in Japantown in San Francisco. And it's just a fantastic little. It's soft and squishy and it's quiet. I can fidget with it, but I can also stem by like just kind of petting the softness and feeling the softness of it. So when I say like you could use something like this, I'm actually showing it on the video and it is.
[00:03:48] Speaker C: On my YouTube channel.
[00:03:50] Speaker A: So please do give that a check out if you feel like the visuals will help help or words. You know, I, I put up lists and quotes and I put up, you know, pictures of the articles that I'm citing and things like that. So if you feel like that will help you, please do head over to YouTube and give it a, give it a look. See and you know, maybe, maybe consider leaving me a comment or just liking the video if you happen to like it. That feedback is really useful, especially for me. I kind of feel like, I don't know, I think other content creators have talked about this, but you start to.
[00:04:22] Speaker B: Sort of feel like you're just sort.
[00:04:23] Speaker A: Of throwing information out into the void and just having no idea if it actually gets to anyone. So it's always affirming to hear or even just to see a little thumbs up. Like someone clicked it and was like, oh my gosh, this actually was helpful and nice. Like that's just really affirming and really nice. So if you consider doing that, that would be great.
[00:04:42] Speaker C: Or just share it with people.
[00:04:43] Speaker A: If you do like it, that's always really helpful too. And let's go ahead and get into these strategies that maybe might actually work a little bit. If your burnout is more than just exhaustion, like kind of. Not that exhaustion is to be minimized, it's a pretty serious thing. But if you feel like your burnout has components of traumatic stress or chronic stress, that's really what more of these strategies are for. So I hope it's useful for you. Just wanted to give you that heads up that we're just diving straight on into this. So once the theme song's done, buddy, we are there.
This is a podcast where we learn how to promote safety and empowerment to build resiliency in everyone we know, including ourselves.
[00:05:33] Speaker B: We're going to talk about the burnout trauma strategies. Okay, now listen, when you Google burnout, or you google trauma response or trauma, and you Google, like, strategies for helping.
[00:05:49] Speaker C: With burnout and all this stuff, you.
[00:05:52] Speaker B: Are going to hear. So many of the main ones, like the articles will all kind of have.
[00:05:57] Speaker C: A cut and paste list, essentially they all talk about the same things.
[00:06:01] Speaker B: And it's to the point where I've heard these things so often, I essentially roll my eyes when I hear them.
[00:06:06] Speaker C: Like if somebody's giving a training or.
[00:06:08] Speaker B: Something, or a talk or an educational thing and they talk about it, I'm like, oh, geez, these ones again, right? So some of these, if you're rolling your eyes, Adam, they might not be the things you need, but you know.
[00:06:22] Speaker C: Those ones are like the mindfulness or exercise more, eat healthier and get plenty of sleep because it's so easy to.
[00:06:28] Speaker B: Do if you have like insomnia and you're stressed and stuff. But, you know, take more time for.
[00:06:33] Speaker C: Yourself, set better work life boundaries, that kind of stuff.
[00:06:36] Speaker B: Right? I know if you're like me, you've heard those things over and over again and you're like, been there, tried that, don't have energy to do them anymore.
[00:06:44] Speaker C: So if it happens to be that you are dealing with a traumatic exposure in your life, a traumatic stress event that has shifted your physiology, you probably need more help than those strategies. You probably need some kind of help with healing your nervous system, helping to.
[00:07:05] Speaker B: Regulate a little more, helping to unpack.
[00:07:08] Speaker C: Those shifted worldviews and your sense of self.
[00:07:11] Speaker B: So that's just to let you know that if you feel like you've tried all the strategies and nothing really seems to help, it might be time to seek Some help.
[00:07:20] Speaker C: But I will say those strategies can.
[00:07:23] Speaker B: Definitely help a little bit. You know, like, it's kind of like Old Faithful blowing every once in a while to relieve the pressure from the.
[00:07:31] Speaker C: Yellowstone super volcano that's under there that we're all trying to forget about.
[00:07:35] Speaker B: Basically. If you're like me and you have anxiety, total side note, this is the Divergent ADHD thought. If you have anxiety around that super volcano.
[00:07:41] Speaker C: I saw a really great.
[00:07:42] Speaker B: I think it might have been on pbs, I'm not sure, but it was a really great documentary thing on it where somebody was like, if it's going to blow, it's going to take like.
[00:07:50] Speaker C: 10 years to ramp up. So we actually will know about it. Just so you know, it's not like a disaster film.
[00:07:57] Speaker B: Super volcanoes just go off like that.
[00:07:58] Speaker C: They're. They apparently take a really long time to ramp up.
[00:08:01] Speaker B: So. But yeah, essentially a lot of these strategies are basically that. They're essentially just like safe things. You can give a try.
[00:08:10] Speaker C: If they seem to help a little.
[00:08:11] Speaker B: Bit, they can help your body just relax a little bit more, you know, and help to kind of maybe relieve some of that chronic stress, kind of blow off a little bit of that chronic stress, all that pressure in your emotional system, essentially in your nervous system.
So my caveat about these strategies is that I get a little cynical and.
[00:08:33] Speaker C: I roll my eyes a little bit.
[00:08:35] Speaker B: Because I think the typical narrative out.
[00:08:36] Speaker C: There is like, that's all you got to do.
[00:08:39] Speaker B: You get a little routine, you do some yoga, some mindfulness and exercise, some eating healthy and like hang out with your friends and like, boom, your burnout is cured. We. And it's like, I feel like that narrative is at minimum not very helpful.
[00:08:55] Speaker C: To people, especially if they have a trauma exposure response thing going on that.
[00:08:59] Speaker B: They just don't realize. And at worst, it's a very dangerous.
[00:09:04] Speaker C: Narrative because it might be making you feel like you're even more of a.
[00:09:09] Speaker B: Failure because you're trying. These strategies are supposed to cure it and they didn't. You were supposed to be able to fix it and you couldn't fix it, you know.
[00:09:17] Speaker C: And the truth is, the rampant burnout.
[00:09:20] Speaker B: That'S experienced by so many people today.
[00:09:22] Speaker C: Is actually a symptom, I think, of.
[00:09:24] Speaker B: Much wider systemic societal problems, like late stage capitalism type problems, you know, and like, there's only so much you can.
[00:09:32] Speaker C: Do as a single individual in the face of that.
[00:09:34] Speaker B: And I cannot emphasize that enough because in the United States especially, man, they really want us to feel like we're the ones who are failing the system.
[00:09:44] Speaker C: And really the system is failing most of us.
[00:09:47] Speaker B: Most of us, okay?
[00:09:48] Speaker C: There's very few people at the very.
[00:09:49] Speaker B: Top that it's not failing, all right?
And it just means that like, you might not be able to fix things. What you got to do is just find ways to help you cope and.
[00:09:58] Speaker C: Help you process things as best as you can to achieve the best quality.
[00:10:01] Speaker B: Of life you can, right? There's no simple 100 word, pithy little plan or motivational quote or poster that's going to fix this huge issue of like inequity and inequality and injustice and all of this stuff. You know what I mean? So I just want to put that out there. I just. Let's be honest about it, okay? Like, I would love to be all tying it up and showing sunshine and rainbows for you, but like, that's not how I do.
[00:10:30] Speaker C: I like rainbows. You are correct.
[00:10:32] Speaker B: But I don't. I'm not going to blow smoke up your butt, okay? I'm not going to be like, this will fix it. I don't know. I don't know. It might not. Doesn't mean you're a broken human.
[00:10:44] Speaker C: Doesn't mean you fail.
[00:10:45] Speaker B: Doesn't mean you're awful.
It just might mean you're dealing with something much bigger, okay?
Also, I do feel like coping strategies are really good. But part of the problem, I think.
[00:10:56] Speaker C: That does happen, especially with COVID shutdown.
[00:10:58] Speaker B: Is most of us rely on like.
[00:11:00] Speaker C: One or two strategies as our go.
[00:11:02] Speaker B: Tos and if we don't have access to those two, then it's like, what are we gonna do? You know what I mean? And side note, I feel like this might be part of the problem with like post Covid, especially in school students.
[00:11:18] Speaker C: Being on their phones all the time. They were probably using the Internet as the main coping strategy for being in shutdown.
[00:11:24] Speaker B: I mean, first off, we're all on our phones all the time. It's not just students, but. And we're all having trouble focusing and with attention and stuff, okay?
[00:11:31] Speaker C: Not just students.
[00:11:32] Speaker B: So I think that's part of it. We like to look at the students and be like, they're the problem. But I think there might be a little projecting going on from, from adults. First, number one, because let's be honest about it, okay?
[00:11:42] Speaker C: Every time I ever heard a teacher complaining about students not paying attention to.
[00:11:45] Speaker B: Things, but because they're on their phone and during class, those were always the.
[00:11:49] Speaker C: Same teachers who were not paying attention.
[00:11:50] Speaker B: During staff meetings at all.
[00:11:51] Speaker C: They were on their phones.
[00:11:52] Speaker B: They Were on Facebook. They were, you know, they were out there doing their thing. Like, it's like, okay, I think it might be bothering you because you're seeing yourself. I think there might be a little. Little. Some sort of little transference. I don't know, is it transfer. Transference. Trans transference. Trans whatever. Trans rights. Trans rights for sure.
[00:12:10] Speaker C: But that's not at all related to that. Okay.
[00:12:12] Speaker B: But I think that might be some of the issues with that is that like, if the Internet is your go to for coping with things and for like just kind of getting through your day and then people take it away from you, it's going to cause a big problem.
[00:12:25] Speaker C: Right.
[00:12:25] Speaker B: We need other strategies on top of it.
What we're really not taught in our.
[00:12:31] Speaker C: Society is to actually feel challenging, uncomfortable emotions and how to actually healthily process through those and allow ourselves to feel those. I feel like that's at the core.
[00:12:45] Speaker B: Of most of the problems here.
[00:12:46] Speaker C: You know, we all have a lot.
[00:12:48] Speaker B: Of great coping strategies that get us through our days.
[00:12:51] Speaker C: Like we all can, like look forward to happy hour or that ice cream.
[00:12:54] Speaker B: Like me, I love ice cream. Or, you know, that mindfulness session. Or, you know, you can binge the.
[00:13:00] Speaker C: Great British Bake off on Netflix because that's an awfully. That's a nice fuzzy show. But I do recommend the OG ones, the BBC ones. Those are the best.
[00:13:07] Speaker B: Okay. Anyway, I miss Mary Berry.
[00:13:10] Speaker C: Okay.
[00:13:11] Speaker B: I need my Mary Berry talking about the les and the puff pastry, you.
[00:13:15] Speaker C: Know, and the soggy bottoms.
[00:13:17] Speaker B: What we're not doing though, when you go through all those coping strategies to avoid feeling things, you're not processing the emotions. So you might be compartmentalizing, you might be getting through your day, which is super useful, but you're not processing feeling.
[00:13:29] Speaker C: Allowing your brain to move through those.
[00:13:31] Speaker B: Emotions and like letting your body experience it, basically. Right.
[00:13:35] Speaker C: And so the biggest thing is to learn how to process emotions, which can.
[00:13:38] Speaker B: Be really tricky if, especially if you're like me, if you have untreated anxiety. Like, I avoided my feelings for a long time because if I allowed myself to feel too much, I would just trigger an anxiety attack. So if that is you, you know what I'm going to say, probably seeking professional mental health would be the best. Okay. But here's the thing is I have.
[00:13:59] Speaker C: This sort of research parody of mine.
[00:14:02] Speaker B: Which is like a two prong model.
[00:14:03] Speaker C: I'm taking the book Everybody Poops for parents. Anyone who's worked with kids before, there's.
[00:14:08] Speaker B: A very famous book called Everybody Poops. And the thing about feelings is they are like poop because everyone has them.
[00:14:16] Speaker C: And you can hold them in for a while, but they do always come out eventually, right?
[00:14:23] Speaker B: And the issue is when they come out on people and in situations where.
[00:14:27] Speaker C: We don't actually want it to happen, or it comes out in such a.
[00:14:30] Speaker B: Way that we're like suddenly lashing out in anger at somebody unjustly, that's where.
[00:14:35] Speaker C: We have the issue. When you have the sudden burst of.
[00:14:38] Speaker B: Like kind of annoyance or something or frustration.
Honestly, I think this might be something with why a lot of people, they can keep it together at work, but.
[00:14:47] Speaker C: Once they go home, maybe they lose.
[00:14:49] Speaker B: Their temper a lot more because the home is the safe place and they've.
[00:14:53] Speaker C: Been holding it in for so long and they haven't processed through any of.
[00:14:56] Speaker B: Those feelings, any of those stressful events.
[00:14:59] Speaker C: And things that might have happened at.
[00:15:00] Speaker B: Work and they go home and blow their top.
[00:15:03] Speaker C: Not justifying it as mistreatment or abuse, but I'm just saying it might be.
[00:15:08] Speaker B: A reason for it. It does not justify it by any means, but can be an explanation. However, I think that can happen with all of us, right? Same thing with anxiety attacks and meltdowns. When I have it from like an emotional trigger, it's like if I haven't processed through something, if I've just sat on it and let it sort of.
[00:15:23] Speaker C: Sit and I haven't really sat and.
[00:15:25] Speaker B: Processed and like did the old faithful, like go through some of it to relieve some of that stress, I'm probably going to have an anxiety attack that's sort of my go to, so, or, and, or a meltdown around it, you.
[00:15:37] Speaker C: Know, so that's what we need is the processing strategies.
[00:15:46] Speaker B: Now I don't, I can't help with top down processing because that's not my area.
[00:15:50] Speaker C: And honestly any mental health provider who wants to help you with those things without you being their actual individual client.
[00:15:57] Speaker B: That they've done a full assessment on Red flag, okay? Like top down processing, like your sense of yourself, your viewpoint of the world.
[00:16:06] Speaker C: That really needs to be handled by.
[00:16:07] Speaker B: Professionals that really needs to be in their domain. Okay. Because that's some very big heavy stuff.
[00:16:15] Speaker C: That really needs to be handled by someone who knows what they're doing.
[00:16:17] Speaker B: You feel safe with them, like, you know, But I can go through some bottom up strategies which you might find these online a lot too. They're. They're on there a lot. Where did I. I think this was.
[00:16:29] Speaker C: On Megan Devine's podcast. I think there is a burnout episode on her podcast.
[00:16:34] Speaker B: I'LL have to find the title and.
[00:16:35] Speaker C: Put it up on the screen for you.
[00:16:36] Speaker B: But essentially it was like a learning to process emotions using bottom up techniques.
[00:16:41] Speaker C: And they had a great quote where.
[00:16:42] Speaker B: It was like 30 seconds of doing.
[00:16:44] Speaker C: That throughout the day turns into 15.
[00:16:46] Speaker B: Minutes of emotional processing. And I was like, what a great way to think about it. That's really good. I like that a lot. So like 30 seconds, 30 second moments throughout your day to like go through the discomfort, the physical discomfort from some sort of high stress or high emotional situation. You do that 30 seconds throughout the day and it turns eventually you get to 15 minutes worth of processing and that can help with the burnout and the trauma responses. Also really important to try to find community.
[00:17:15] Speaker C: Essentially being around people that you feel safe being around. And that can be a very difficult.
[00:17:19] Speaker B: Thing, especially depending on where you like. My queer self would not feel very safe if I lived in a highly like anti queer town or something, which I don't, but which is good. But if I did live in some place like that, it might be harder.
[00:17:33] Speaker C: For me to find safe people to be around. Which in that case, honestly, the Internet.
[00:17:38] Speaker B: Is a nice place sometimes to find those people. Like go to a subreddit or something and start to find little pockets of.
[00:17:45] Speaker C: People that you relate to on those.
[00:17:48] Speaker B: Sort of things, you know. So if you can't find it in real life, it would be great too. But if it's hard for you, I want to acknowledge that because as a neurodivergent, online is where I find most of my community.
[00:17:59] Speaker C: I have a few people in real.
[00:18:01] Speaker B: Life that I trust and I feel safe with, but online is where I feel the most safe a lot of.
[00:18:05] Speaker C: Times because there's still a little bit.
[00:18:06] Speaker B: Of distance there and I'm in and I don't have to worry so much about the passive aggressive misinterpretation thing that becomes.
It's like a little easier, you know. Anyway, total side note on finding a safe community. I did find a great article. I think it just, I think it was on. I don't think it was a science article, but it talked about community being defined by four criteria. So you want to feel like you.
[00:18:31] Speaker C: Belong to the group. So like there's a membership aspect to that.
[00:18:35] Speaker B: Like queer people, we feel like we all have membership in, you know, LGBTQIA community.
[00:18:39] Speaker C: That's why it's called the community.
[00:18:41] Speaker B: Right. And there's like sub communities within that.
[00:18:44] Speaker C: Of course, you know, influence.
[00:18:47] Speaker B: You might feel like you can make.
[00:18:48] Speaker C: A difference in that group or the.
[00:18:50] Speaker B: Group Makes a difference to you.
[00:18:51] Speaker C: Right. It has some sort of. There's like a reciprocal influence there.
[00:18:55] Speaker B: You might feel like your needs are.
[00:18:57] Speaker C: Being met by the other group members. So you have this integration and fulfillment.
[00:19:00] Speaker B: Of, like, feeling a sense of belonging.
[00:19:03] Speaker C: Feeling cared for, etc.
[00:19:05] Speaker B: Right.
[00:19:06] Speaker C: And you might have a shared emotional connection.
[00:19:09] Speaker B: So you might feel like you have a similar history, similar experiences, time, so emotional, that obviously, like work colleagues, becomes.
[00:19:17] Speaker C: Oftentimes that shared emotional connection through, like, your experience at work.
[00:19:21] Speaker B: It also is the reason there's a lot of cultural groups and support groups.
[00:19:25] Speaker C: Around certain marginalized people and groups and cultures that develop from that, because that's.
[00:19:30] Speaker B: A shared emotional experience through the events of, like, systemic oppression, basically. Right. So real, nurturing, safe community often is.
[00:19:42] Speaker C: Just going to be a few people.
[00:19:43] Speaker B: It's not going to be like, you have a huge crowd of 100 people. This is why people say, like, when people are like, I had a thousand.
[00:19:48] Speaker C: People in my birthday party, like influencers.
[00:19:50] Speaker B: And stuff online, and they talk like.
[00:19:51] Speaker C: They have like 10,000 friends.
[00:19:52] Speaker B: It's like, do you, though, really? Because it's very unlikely that a single individual is going to get along with.
[00:19:59] Speaker C: 10,000 people to such an extent that.
[00:20:00] Speaker B: They feel completely emotionally safe and they can be vulnerable and they could be, you know, whatever, around all those people. Like, that doesn't really happen. Usually we're. We want tighter, smaller groups. Usually when we're talking like, emotional vulnerability and safety. Psychological safety. Emotional safety, that kind of stuff.
[00:20:20] Speaker C: I will say one tip for finding.
[00:20:22] Speaker B: A community is if you feel like you might belong to something, like, if.
[00:20:27] Speaker C: You think, maybe I'm an undiagnosed autistic.
[00:20:29] Speaker B: Maybe I'm undiagnosed neurodivergent, or maybe, maybe I'm a little on the queer side, maybe I'm a bit on the bisexual side. Right. Like, labels can be kind of annoying sometimes. Right. But labels are great ways to find.
[00:20:43] Speaker C: Those communities, especially online or even in your own town, to find people who might be having a shared connection, shared experience with you to start off with. Right.
[00:20:52] Speaker B: And I really, like.
[00:20:53] Speaker C: There was this great post on Tumblr.
[00:20:55] Speaker B: Once that I saw where somebody was saying that, like, somebody was talking about labels, and they were like, I didn't like labels when I was younger, but now I love them as an adult and what's up with that? And somebody responded. They said, any cat owner can tell you the difference between being put in a box by others versus getting into a box on your own. I feel like that's the most perfect explanation of what it's like discovering your own personal labels and where you seem to belong. Right?
So bottom up Regulation strategies. One way to start with this. I forget what the acronym is.
[00:21:28] Speaker C: Apparently on maintenance phase, Aubrey Gordon brought up this up.
[00:21:31] Speaker B: I forget what it is.
It's like hate or something.
[00:21:34] Speaker C: I don't know.
[00:21:35] Speaker B: But essentially, first thing you want to do is kind of scan yourself for physiological needs, right? It's like I'm suddenly feeling really, like, hangry or really upset. It's like, when did you last have a water?
[00:21:46] Speaker C: Do you need to use. Do you need to eat something?
[00:21:49] Speaker B: Do you need to take a little. Little break? You know, like little Snickers commercials with Buddy White.
[00:21:53] Speaker C: Okay. God bless her.
[00:21:54] Speaker B: I hope she's resting in peace.
[00:21:56] Speaker C: She was so cool.
[00:21:58] Speaker B: But you know what I mean? Like, you might need to take a little break, eat a little snack.
[00:22:01] Speaker C: Did you sleep well the night before?
[00:22:02] Speaker B: You might just be feeling more stressed just because your body's like, I need to go to bed. You know what I mean? Stuff like that. So that's a good thing to check on yourself.
[00:22:11] Speaker C: Also for me and other neurodivergents who.
[00:22:13] Speaker B: Have issues with this. Have you gone to the bathroom recently?
[00:22:16] Speaker C: Because maybe you've been sitting for a.
[00:22:17] Speaker B: Long time and now you need to go to the bathroom and you have not recognized it yet.
[00:22:21] Speaker C: Something to consider.
[00:22:23] Speaker B: Good bottom up regulation strategy for when you're starting to feel maybe a little frustrated suddenly kind of out of nowhere can do sensory stimuli, like if you like listening to nature sounds. If you have like a calming, you know, a calming collection of songs on Spotify or something.
[00:22:39] Speaker C: Or Spotify for songs.
[00:22:40] Speaker B: Or is it just podcast?
[00:22:42] Speaker C: I clearly don't know. I tend to use a lot of YouTube playlists.
[00:22:45] Speaker B: Tends to be my go to.
[00:22:47] Speaker C: Maybe I've just sold.
[00:22:48] Speaker B: I don't know anyway. But yeah, you might have like a little. A little chunk of like songs on.
[00:22:53] Speaker C: Your phone that you could listen to.
[00:22:54] Speaker B: That help you calm down. You can use. Use things like this to help calm. Like my soft.
[00:22:59] Speaker C: My life soft, soft plushie. It has such a good plush. This one is such a great squeeze. It's like a really easy squeeze, really.
[00:23:07] Speaker B: Smooth squeeze, you know, because sometimes when you squeeze things, it's like you have to squeeze hard at first, or maybe it's soft at first, but then there's a hard middle, you know?
[00:23:14] Speaker C: But this is like a nice, even smooth squeeze. It's really nice.
[00:23:17] Speaker B: I like this one a lot anyway. Pardon my neurodivergent moment there.
[00:23:22] Speaker C: You can also do physical exercise if.
[00:23:24] Speaker B: You'Re, like, upset and angry, maybe just.
[00:23:26] Speaker C: Getting up and taking a quick walk.
[00:23:28] Speaker B: Is a really good thing. Doing some jumping jacks, like, something that helps your body feel like you're burning off some of that adrenaline. Sometimes that can be really useful. And then there's also, like, breathing exercises you can do. You know, the. What is it? The five. Four.
[00:23:43] Speaker C: The five.
[00:23:43] Speaker B: Wait, I think I have it on that sign back there.
[00:23:46] Speaker C: Nope, that's the grounding technique. Never mind.
[00:23:48] Speaker B: But, you know, it's like you inhale on a certain count, hold it for a little bit, and slowly exhale it on another count. That can help, because deep breathing like.
[00:23:55] Speaker C: That triggers the parasympathetic system. It triggers the rest and digest system.
[00:23:58] Speaker B: To start turning back on.
You can also do, I kind of think my personal favorite, butterfly hug, which.
[00:24:05] Speaker C: Is related to EMDR work, and it's also related to that tapping thing. If you've ever heard about that finger tapping thing people do, it's sort of related to that too.
[00:24:13] Speaker B: But you cross your arms, you start tapping, and you start to breathe really slowly and deeply. And you start to.
[00:24:18] Speaker C: You want to just scan your body and notice where you feel, like, tension in your body, and you just want to breathe into that place. And then you keep doing that, and.
[00:24:27] Speaker B: That'S all you do.
[00:24:28] Speaker C: You just focus on your breath and that tension. And at some point, the tension starts.
[00:24:32] Speaker B: To release, and voila, you have processed emotion, which was. This was a game changer for me.
[00:24:37] Speaker C: When a therapist taught this to me.
[00:24:38] Speaker B: Because I did not know how to do it.
[00:24:40] Speaker C: I was still avoiding things because I.
[00:24:42] Speaker B: Wanted to avoid big meltdowns and anxiety attacks. But it really helps me because I.
[00:24:47] Speaker C: Tend to feel the tension, like, in my chest area. I start to feel really tight around my sternum. That tends to be where the first little trigger is that it's like.
[00:24:54] Speaker B: Like something really stressful has happened and my body's not liking it.
[00:24:58] Speaker C: And so sometimes I have used this.
[00:25:00] Speaker B: Butterfly hug thing as a way to.
[00:25:02] Speaker C: Stop a meltdown, slash, anxiety attack, depending on the trigger for it, really.
[00:25:06] Speaker B: They're effectively the same thing for me in my experiences. But I've used this as a way to kind of stave those off a little bit if I. If I do it soon enough.
Some other things you can do just throughout your workday is to kind of.
[00:25:27] Speaker C: Acknowledge you're making choices, but also, like.
[00:25:28] Speaker B: Kind of revel in it.
[00:25:29] Speaker C: Like, the power a little bit.
[00:25:30] Speaker B: You know, be like, I am making.
[00:25:32] Speaker C: A choice to be, like, two minutes.
[00:25:34] Speaker B: Late to the meeting, and I'M going to be like, sorry, I was just.
[00:25:37] Speaker C: Swamped with a report I was in.
[00:25:38] Speaker B: The middle of writing or I was.
[00:25:39] Speaker C: On the phone really quick with dinner.
[00:25:40] Speaker B: Or whatever, you know, just say you were doing something else, it's fine.
[00:25:43] Speaker C: But you made a conscious decision.
[00:25:45] Speaker B: You're like, you know what, I'm going.
[00:25:46] Speaker C: To spend two minutes watching a cute.
[00:25:47] Speaker B: Animal video and then I'm going to go to the meeting. So I'm going to be a little bit late and if anybody calls me on it, I'll say it's a work thing, but you know, you know what I mean? If you're in a work environment where you don't feel safe saying, or like you went to the bathroom or something, right? Like you can do something like that, but just like, yeah, be like, ha ha ha, I have the power to make that choice and I'm gonna do it. You know what I mean?
[00:26:08] Speaker C: Those daily centering practices, the mindfulness, the.
[00:26:11] Speaker B: Exercise, those things are great.
[00:26:13] Speaker C: Those things are great things to do.
[00:26:14] Speaker B: If you have the energy to do them. If they seem to help you have at it, you know. But I think another thing that's really.
[00:26:20] Speaker C: Important that's very hard to learn to do is compassionate towards yourself.
[00:26:25] Speaker B: Like the old Parks and Rec, treat yourself episodes, right? Like, you know, instead of moralizing yourself as being lazy for not doing the.
[00:26:35] Speaker C: Thing the last thing on your to.
[00:26:37] Speaker B: Do list that day, maybe say you're.
[00:26:39] Speaker C: Resting instead maybe saying you're making a choice to rest because you're tired, it's okay to not do the whole list. It's all right, it doesn't make you lazy.
[00:26:48] Speaker B: Doesn't make you lazy, right?
[00:26:49] Speaker C: Like we all need rest, we all need to recuperate. These are essential for human bodies and brains to do.
[00:26:54] Speaker B: So it's like instead, instead of that, maybe like reframing it a little that way, right? Instead of saying things like, oh, I shouldn't eat that, just be like, you know, I think I can have a little bit of it.
[00:27:05] Speaker C: I'm gonna treat myself to a little bit.
[00:27:06] Speaker B: It's gonna be fine. You know, there's no good bad food.
[00:27:09] Speaker C: It'S just food, it's fine.
[00:27:10] Speaker B: You know what I mean? That non moralization can really help, right? So that might help a little bit.
[00:27:16] Speaker C: But it's something I've been trying to.
[00:27:17] Speaker B: Do a lot more of.
[00:27:19] Speaker C: It's just being a lot more compassionate.
[00:27:20] Speaker B: Toward myself, especially when it comes to like, like not doing tasks I needed to do, etc. Etc. Getting stuck in my nerd. Divergent information holes and hyper fixations and.
[00:27:29] Speaker C: Never getting to the things I needed to do.
[00:27:31] Speaker B: Like, I'm trying to be a lot more compassionate and not moralize that as being like a huge character flaw in me. Right. And just be like, well, this is how my brain works. So tomorrow I'll try my strategies. At some point it's going to get done. You know what I mean? It'll get done. If all else fails, if I wait long enough, I'm going to get the anxiety and the stress around deadlines approaching.
[00:27:54] Speaker C: That needs to happen now.
[00:27:55] Speaker B: And that's always a motivator. So I'll always. I'll get it done. You know what I mean? That's just. I know that about myself. That might not work for everybody, but it works for me. Sometimes procrastination works the best, sometimes depending on the thing.
[00:28:07] Speaker C: But yeah.
[00:28:11] Speaker B: And with those strategies in mind, which hopefully some of them are slightly different than what you've heard in the past, I don't want to leave this video without reminding you all that there is.
[00:28:23] Speaker C: A systemic issue here.
[00:28:25] Speaker B: Right.
[00:28:26] Speaker C: Our workplaces, the organizations we work for.
[00:28:29] Speaker B: The areas we're in, have some responsibility to help us. Our society at large essentially needs a lot of healing and needs things in place to help us all out because there's only so much we can do. As Vander, Noot Lipski and Burke said.
[00:28:44] Speaker C: In their book, I have a quote down here.
[00:28:45] Speaker B: It says organizations themselves have the potential.
[00:28:48] Speaker C: To either mitigate or exacerbate the effects of trauma exposure for all of their workers.
[00:28:52] Speaker B: And that is 100% true.
So if you happen to be in any level position of power or you.
[00:29:00] Speaker C: Happen to own your own company maybe.
[00:29:02] Speaker B: Or something like that, or you're starting.
[00:29:04] Speaker C: To get into administration inside of things.
[00:29:06] Speaker B: Whatever, you can hopefully start to push.
[00:29:10] Speaker C: The workplace culture toward being more trauma informed and offering more resources and more time and more maybe trainings or something.
[00:29:18] Speaker B: Process protected processing time, which is like.
[00:29:20] Speaker C: Essentially emotional support groups essentially for workers. Like not work meetings, but things to help them process through tough things that happened essentially. Like stuff like that would be great to put in place at workplaces, but we often don't. Right.
[00:29:35] Speaker B: Because there's a bottom line.
[00:29:37] Speaker C: We have to be pushing toward that all the time.
[00:29:38] Speaker B: But it's like that's not helping us any actually.
[00:29:41] Speaker C: We're just going to push ourselves to.
[00:29:42] Speaker B: The point of exhaustion and have a lot of attrition and then it's, you know, one step forward, two steps back.
[00:29:47] Speaker C: For like all industries.
[00:29:49] Speaker B: So yeah, might be time to reframe it a Little bit and change things out a little and have more long, you know, have more forethought, have more long term interest in like, you know.
[00:29:59] Speaker C: The long term quality of life and health and mental health of your employees would be really nice.
[00:30:04] Speaker B: You know, I mean, with all that said, I do want to say that organizational changes and cultural shifts, these two take a lot of time and they can feel like a really huge task. So I want to encourage everyone out.
[00:30:19] Speaker C: There to once again be compassionate and kind to yourself. If you do not have the energy.
[00:30:24] Speaker B: To be part of like an advocacy.
[00:30:26] Speaker C: Team or to be part of like some strategic planning something or other, that's okay.
[00:30:32] Speaker B: That's okay. Somebody out there is going to have the energy. Somebody out there is gonna do it, all right? And if all you do is just.
[00:30:41] Speaker C: Share information with people so that it gets into the right hands, that's still doing something. Okay. I know we all like to pretend like sitting here and thinking and learning about things online is somehow not doing.
[00:30:53] Speaker B: Something, but I like to think it.
[00:30:55] Speaker C: Is that ripple effect, right? Like you learn a thing, maybe you share the video, maybe you share an article, or maybe you're just able to.
[00:31:01] Speaker B: Tell somebody like at not the happy hour or whatever about something, maybe something.
[00:31:06] Speaker C: You learned is relevant to them and then they tell somebody and they tell somebody and actually gets to the people that need it, right?
[00:31:12] Speaker B: This is part of creating the change, right? It's part of that wave of change. So, like, that's okay. You're still doing something. Yeah.
[00:31:22] Speaker C: Yay, Ra. Congratulate yourself about that. That is not to be minimized. Honestly, it's not to be minimized. Very few of us are in positions where we can really shift things at.
[00:31:31] Speaker B: A massive level, right? And so if we can shift things.
[00:31:35] Speaker C: With the tiny little bit, if we can shift one person's mind and go to the next person, for example, like, that is still important. And I just don't want us to forget or lose sight of that.
[00:31:48] Speaker B: So essentially that was basically it.
That's the actual end of it.
[00:31:57] Speaker C: I got to the end.
[00:31:57] Speaker B: Oh my gosh. But I feel like this will be a long one if it's one. And I might split it up, up. But just to give myself chunking out.
[00:32:03] Speaker C: On the editing, because I get stuck, man. I edit forever.
[00:32:07] Speaker B: It's a problem. It's a real problem. I need to get a real editor, which is why I have a kofi down below, by the way, if you feel like you want to just tip me a little. It's going in tour day. I Want to hire an editor fund currently.
[00:32:18] Speaker C: That's the idea here. Okay.
[00:32:20] Speaker B: In terms of the list of things that are keeping people burnt out, a lot of it is toxic work environments, right? A lot of it is that scarcity, scarcity mentality. And also Quite frankly, as Dr. Ramani.
[00:32:33] Speaker C: Says, if you know her, she's like.
[00:32:35] Speaker B: The narcissist specialist on YouTube. She does such great videos.
[00:32:38] Speaker C: There's a huge economic reward for being.
[00:32:40] Speaker B: Narcissistic and for hoarding all the resources.
[00:32:43] Speaker C: At the very top, right across a lot of professions. That's a problem. We have a lot of societal messaging.
[00:32:49] Speaker B: Around this moralization of feeling like we're horrible people.
[00:32:53] Speaker C: If we take a break, if we rest, if we establish work life boundaries.
[00:32:56] Speaker B: And do quiet quitting, you know, kind of thing. And if you're in helping professions, a lot of the United States sends out a lot of very clear messages that.
[00:33:07] Speaker C: They don't really value education and things.
[00:33:09] Speaker B: Like that because the money doesn't go there.
[00:33:12] Speaker C: And that is a big organizational, systemic issue.
[00:33:15] Speaker B: Right. So being capable of pushing through everything isn't the same thing as having good mental health.
[00:33:22] Speaker C: In fact, it can be the opposite of that.
[00:33:24] Speaker B: Better to sit and process as much as you can. Seek help if you need it. Safe communities, cultivating a sense of more compassion and empathy, which might mean sort of reframing things and creating a different.
[00:33:39] Speaker C: Script in your mind for certain situations.
[00:33:41] Speaker B: It can be a little tricky, but you know, it's.
[00:33:43] Speaker C: It's a good thing to start trying to do, right?
[00:33:46] Speaker B: Setting the boundaries, not feeling ashamed about that. I don't think quiet quitting is really the thing that we're told it is. I think it's just people establishing work.
[00:33:55] Speaker C: Life boundaries and wanting to just do the work they're paid to do and not go over above and beyond.
[00:33:59] Speaker B: You know, it's like, that's fine, right?
[00:34:03] Speaker C: Learning how to recognize when you're feeling the stressful emotional discomfort in your body. And then like figuring out a way to help you release some of that tension and stress with movement or breathing or whatever it is that works.
[00:34:18] Speaker B: And then if you don't, if you're not in the position and, or don't.
[00:34:20] Speaker C: Have the energy to like join positions.
[00:34:23] Speaker B: Where you can really make the big systemic changes, then advocate for it by.
[00:34:28] Speaker C: Like venting to colleagues and friends, sharing.
[00:34:31] Speaker B: Information about it, helping to change the.
[00:34:33] Speaker C: Minds of other people so that, that.
[00:34:35] Speaker B: Grassroots, like movements, you know, all that.
[00:34:38] Speaker C: Stuff starts to actually gain more steam that way. Right? That is the way a lot of.
[00:34:45] Speaker B: Societal like justice movements happen. Is people start talking about it and.
[00:34:51] Speaker C: Minds get changed and then that's how this stuff happens.
[00:34:56] Speaker B: So it's okay.
[00:34:57] Speaker C: It's okay to just learn and then just talk about it.
[00:35:00] Speaker B: Just do the thing that like we all want to do anyway. So that's totally fair. And that's you're still doing something. You're still doing something.
So that's all I have for today, for this episode. Slash, maybe two episodes. I don't know. We'll see how that goes with editing. Editing. Kim will determine that in the future here next episode. I do have one more episode on Burnout, which is going to be just.
[00:35:24] Speaker C: My own personal little story time on.
[00:35:26] Speaker B: Neurodivergent Burnout, or at least my perception of it.
[00:35:30] Speaker C: And it might involve a lot of venting.
[00:35:31] Speaker B: It might be kind of vulnerable and kind of tough. But that's what I do, bro.
[00:35:38] Speaker C: Non gendered, bro.
[00:35:40] Speaker B: I'm Agender, so all gendered terms are essentially non gendered to me as far as I'm concerned. Just kind of my own little experience with like adhd, autistic stuff and ableism and burnout and that kind of stuff. We're going to get into that a little bit next time because it's going.
[00:35:58] Speaker C: To help me transition into the next.
[00:36:00] Speaker B: Series which is going to be on systemic oppression.
[00:36:02] Speaker C: Because this is a really critical part.
[00:36:04] Speaker B: Where I think trauma informed stuff falls.
[00:36:06] Speaker C: Apart if you don't acknowledge the need.
[00:36:09] Speaker B: For justice and inclusion and equity across the board. But we all have our own things to unpack with all of that.
[00:36:17] Speaker C: So that's what the series is going to be on.
[00:36:19] Speaker B: Helping us all unpack those things essentially is the goal.
Hopefully this was helpful to you. If it was. Leave me a comment if you're on the YouTube video, if you're on, if you're listening on a podcast, wherever you.
[00:36:31] Speaker C: Get your podcast, feel free to leave me a review or something.
[00:36:34] Speaker B: Maybe that would be great.
[00:36:36] Speaker C: It helps. Still helps push things out to other people.
[00:36:39] Speaker B: If you feel like it's helpful, share.
[00:36:41] Speaker C: It as much as you wish.
[00:36:43] Speaker B: If there's something you would like to.
[00:36:45] Speaker C: Go a little deeper into or unpack more, please also let me know.
[00:36:49] Speaker B: You can email me, my contact information is in the show notes below.
[00:36:53] Speaker C: Or you can leave me a message on YouTube that's also totally fine and fair to do.
[00:36:58] Speaker B: But all that to be said, I hope this helps you guys. I hope you feel maybe just even just the tiniest bit less like crap about yourself. That's what I really hope and that you're feeling a little more Like, I'm not this horrible broken person out on an island somewhere. I'm actually like, you're. You're having human experiences, you know, like a lot of us are having them, you know, at least. Oh, I hit my microphone. I actually survived this without hitting my microphone. And I just did one counter one for hitting microphone. Okay. That all said, I hope you guys have a great week, two month, however long it'll be before I get something else out and treat yourself kindly, talk kindly to yourself. And I will. I will not see you.
[00:37:47] Speaker C: Gosh, no. See that I. It bothers me. It bothers me. I can't say I'll see you later.
[00:37:53] Speaker B: It's a weird script. It feels sort of like when you go like, I've had. I've done this so many times where you're like getting on a plane and the person who checks your boarding passes like, have a nice flight. And you're like, you too, whenever you fly next. That's what I feel like the see you later feels like right now.
Nonetheless, you'll see me on the next one and I'll see your comments and messages and stuff. Have a good one, guys.
[00:38:18] Speaker C: Until next time.
[00:38:19] Speaker B: Bye.
